Man I Hate Paul Pierce

Let me get something straight right off the bat: I don't hate Pierce because he hit the game-winning shot last night. Far from it. I was disappointed that the Hawks lost, and, honestly, impressed by the shot he hit. Besides, the Hawks should be blamed for even allowing Pierce that opportunity. They got the ball with 21 seconds left and should have bled the clock before driving to the basket. Then Pierce would have had a rushed shot at best. No, I don't hate Pierce for one moment.

I hate Pierce for how he plays basketball. He has the ugliest game short of Anthony Mason. I hate how he flops around the court worse than the European players.

I hate that he flails his arms and falls every which way on the offensive end, but still stares at the refs in shock when he gets called for a foul on the defensive end. He's probably trying to get the refs to call a foul in the above picture.

I hate that the refs encourage his behavior by calling fouls on defenders who are standing to the side with their arms up when Pierce flops to the side while shooting. NO ONE SHOOTS LIKE THAT! WHY ARE YOU CALLING A FOUL?!

When I texted Matt last night that I hated Pierce he responds with, "I wonder if he walks down the street and falls into people and then calls the police." In everyday life Pierce is the guy that slams on his brakes and then hops out of his car holding his neck when he gets into a fender-bender, threatening to sue.

I hate that he attempted more free throws (16) than field goals (14) last night. Let me get this straight... almost all of our players get in foul trouble, but Glen Davis is allowed to literally shove Joe at the top of the key when flashing out on a screen?

I hate that people are going to be talking about how he scored 34 points when 15 of those points came off of free throws.

I hate when people say he is "good at creating contact," and mean it as a compliment. He's a used car salesman on the court, creating something that isn't there and selling that bs to the refs. In his honor the NBA should change the rules. Even if you get your guy up the air, you have to at least attempt your normal shot to get a foul call. No falling to the side or lunging forward or backward to create contact. If the shooter literally creates the contact, then it shouldn't be a foul.

Man I hate Paul Pierce.